The other day, I was in a store with a pal and commented on how, if I were to put on a pair of the white pants before us (those you see above), I would be terrified that a) I would spill something on them, b) I would sit in something, c) I would spontaneously get my period regardless of the time of the month, and d) that my ass would look like the Great White South. She laughed, but agreed that, no, she would never dare to wear white pants.
WHO CASUALLY WEARS WHITE PANTS?
I want to speculate on this for a bit.
- The rich, who don't give a crap if they ruin a pair of pants.
- Those with intensely high self-esteem, who know they look hot in the pants and anyone who thinks otherwise can SUCK IT.
- The fastidiously neat, for whom mess is not even an option.
- The immensely zen, who would never consider the list of worries I've mentioned.
- The total disaster, who gets the pants and falls prey to the plagues I listed but is too oblivious to notice.
- The fashion victim, who gets the pants and falls prey to ALL of the plagues I listed after wearing the pants once and never wears them again.
(Uhhh, yikes.)
I know that were I to attempt the look, I'd fall squarely on my Great White South into the final category. Probably onto some gum.
