An update. A vey angry update.

So I've got ANOTHER cold.

Not a relapse of the cold I had last week, oh no!
A whole. New. Cold.

Last week I had a chest cold, which I felt pretty confident that I had shaken by Sunday. Alas, I awoke Monday morning with a sore throat. I thought, "Oh no! It's coming back!"

"Oh no!" indeed, Dana. "Oh no!" indeed.

Today I realized... "This feels nothing like last weeks cold. That was a chest cold. This is a head cold. MY GOD, I've contracted another illness!!!"

I'm only over-reacting to this because it's probably been nearly a year since the last time I really got sick. Back in college, I was perpetually sick. I'm just glad they waited till just before I graduated to take pseudoephedrine out of all cold medicines. The new stuff they make doesn't work nearly as well as the old formulas. But I doubt I would have made it to as many classes and rehearsals as I did without good ol' Extra Strength Tylenol Cold.

And now I need to blow my nose 50 more times, drink some tea and go to a late rehearsal. Dammit.

I know, I know...

I have abandoned my blog!
I have abandoned my blog!
I have abandoned my blog!

Enough.

So I've been ill. Well, it's really my own damn fault. I felt something coming on last week and fought tooth and nail to stave it off... until Saturday.

(Let me point out that what I felt coming on was almost certainly a product of the previous weekend's Halloween festivities, which included bobbing for apples; that didn't sound like such a horrible petri dish of bacteria when we were kids, did it?)

Anyhow, Saturday was my birthday party. 'Round about 4pm the day of the party, my voice began to get lower and lower. I ignored this fact and enjoyed my celebration.

The next morning, I awoke with no voice.

Now I grant that I am prone to hyperbole, but FOR REAL, I had no voice. Which made my 9a.m. singing/dancing rehearsal very interesting. And quiet. But alas, since I am... how do you say... ME, I was not able to simply accept that I had no voice and not push it. NO. I TOTALLY screwed myself by forcing what little voice I had all day long. But I was very thankful that it was just my voice and I wasn't sick.

The next morning, Monday, I awoke to the beginnings of a cold. Awesome.
The NEXT morning, Tuesday, I awoke feeling worse, went to work, and came home half an hour later.
The subsequent Wednesday and Thursday mornings were similar, in that I awoke feeling like ass, cleared my respiratory of grossness, took some DayQuil, and marched myself to work.

Now it's Thursday night. Things have been all-or-nothing today. I'm either feeling fine, not sick at all... or my lungs are trying to escape through my mouth.

I had a fun little incident at The UPS Store just now. I had a full-on coughing fit while trying to send a package, which ended in me nearly choking on my Ricola, being offered a bottle of water by the sweet guys at the counter, and repeatedly assuring them that I do not have the swine flu. Seriously. Really embarrassing.

THEN I went to Coffee Bean to get my free winter 12oz. beverage (YAAAAY FREE STUFF!), trying to hold it together there, and succeeded. The girl at the counter was totally teasing me about how clearly excited I was to be getting a free drink. I'm such a dork. But it was very exciting. I had been waiting for it all day. The Winter Dream Tea Latte? SOOOOO worth it.

THEN a girl came around while I was waiting for my drink handing out little waffle bites and started talking to me about my earrings. This distracted me so much that I crammed the bite of waffle into my mouth -- forgetting about the half-a-coughdrop still therein -- and proceeded to crunch up the tasty morsel of waffle along with my remaining Ricola.

*sigh*

The waffle was still pretty tasty, despite the subtle honey-lemon-echinacea undertones.

And THAT, my friends, is the mark of a good waffle.

Do I have anything interesting to say right now?

Not really.

But I feel bad when I let this go too long without an update.

Erm.


Alright, I've actually purchased some new music recently. My recent favorites...

Sour Cherry - The Kills: This track rocks so hard. I hadn't realized how much I liked The Kills, but then I did some browsing and ended up plunking down for Midnight Boom. Damn good. Also good: Cheap and Cheerful

Atticus - The Noisettes: Heard it on KCRW a while back, but the new album, Wild Young Hearts, wasn't out yet. Really beautiful song, a lot less bouncy than much of the album, but man... those kids have range. Also good: Wild Young Hearts, Never Forget You (a.k.a. the song Amy Winehouse probably wishes she had recorded)

(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To - Weezer: It's been QUITE some time since I approved of one of Weezer's singles (I'm looking at you, "Pork & Beans". And "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived". And "Beverly Hills". And "We Are All On Drugs".) Because of this, despite my deep and unrelenting affection for The Blue Album and Pinkerton, I have not been an easy sell on their post-Matt Sharp material. But I really do like this track. The upcoming album title, though... Raditude? Really, Rivers? Also good: yet to be determined

Savior - Rise Against: Just a really great, high-energy song. Also good: Audience of One

Percussion Gun - White Rabbits: Seriously, if you're gonna call a song "Percussion Gun", you better have a whole lotta drums going on. This song does not disappoint. Feels like there should be some rock-n-roll belly dancer gyrating along to this tune. Also good: I confess, I know nothing else by this band.

Samson - Regina Spektor: Not new at all, but I fell in love with this tune back during "Gloves Required". Just gorgeous. Also good: You caught me again; I'm not nearly up on my Spektor.

Days Go On - Greg Laswell: One of those songs I hear on KCRW every now and then and it sticks in my head. Finally looked it up and downloaded it. Also goo-- ALRIGHT! I'm giving up on this section. I am not as well versed as I might pretend.

Origin of Love - Hedwig and the Angry Inch: I just re-watched this movie. GODDAMN, it's good. Anyone who hasn't seen it... do so. It's available on Instant Watch on Netflix. Which is great, because that means I can watch it anytime I like. John Cameron Mitchell = genius. "Shortbus" is also incredible... but prudes need not apply. Also good: Wig in a Box, Wicked Little Town, Sugar Daddy

Meh, that's it for now.

*insert picture of monkeys trying to assemble a toy train*

Pardon our slowness! We got a little off track!


Alright, I'm busy. Work is nutty what with the whole "new HG book" thing (coming to bookstores everywhere next Spring!). Rehearsals for "Much Ado About Nothing" are well into full swing (go to http://shakespeareca.com/ for info), and I'm trying my damnedest to get my demure face on to adequately portray Hero.

I just ate one of the most delicious dishes of my life. Some kind of butternut squash lasagna made by the goddess Evan Kleiman. That woman RULES.

I took a 3 day vacation in Santa Barbara! It was nice! Matt and I went to the beach! We got sunburnt. We went on a boat! We froze our asses off! We drank beers served by a one-eyed bartender named Jack! We took a wine tour with an awesome renegade wine guide named Hans, who was all like, "I'm supposed to take you to this other winery now, but they suck, so we're going to a place that I like! Screw those guys!" We ate a lot of good food! Right before we left, I had this incredible Crab Cakes Benedict with amazing potatoes on the side and a HUGE friggin' mimosa. Happy ending.

Alright, I'm gonna go run lines and work on my wig.

That's right. Work on my wig.

Things I've made and done and done made.

I feel the need to redeem myself by posting photos of actual things I've done lately. And so, at long last, the pictures from my ice cream making adventure.







(Just in case you're wondering what the crap is going on, I'm making the custard base.)















I was far too excited by the time I got to the "freezing the ice cream and adding the strawberries" part to photograph anything else. But this is what it looked like.





And a couple of weeks ago, I painted a dresser that I got from Adam that he had gotten from someone else. It had been sitting in a closet for a couple years, so I thought it could use some spiffing up. So spiff I did.



It's somewhere on the continuum between "Little Girl's Dream Dresser" and "Liberace's House of Spangled Blouses".



And then for the cast party, I made a shortbread recipe from a Nigella Lawson cookbook, which of course, I couldn't help but tweak. It came out good, but it wasn't a sure-thing in the "during" process. However, the results were, to quote a fellow cast-member, orgasmic.



I sent a bunch of it with Matt to Bob and Melissa's. Partly because I think they might enjoy it, partly because I don't need to eat that much chocolate-covered, caramel-layered, peanut-filled shortbread.

Hopefully, there are more good things to come...

Aw crap. I'm a Twit.

I caved.

I joined Twitter.

Just like I always swore up and down that I wouldn't give in to Facebook (and now don't know how I'd keep in touch with anyone without it), I've given in to Twitter. BUT I only did it so that I could get in touch with Kogi BBQ and tell them that they need to come back to the spot behind the Guitar Center in Sherman Oaks because I've been craving their Spicy Pork and Short Rib tacos since they teased me with a brief stint a couple weeks ago.

http://twitter.com/hotcupofdana

Find me there. I have one follower, and I think it's a robot that's going to try and trick me into giving it a lot of money. And I'm a sucker for robots.

Would you believe...

... that spending most of your day sitting in front of a computer, writing, makes one want to do so MARKEDLY less in your free time? WHO KNEW!

*sigh*

Anyhow, "As You Like It" has closed. We had a fun run, it was a good time with some truly excellent people that I'm lucky to know and will hopefully work with again soon.

The new HG book is in the works... and that's all I can say about that. But we're working on it furiously and simultaneously trying not to let the daily emails suffer. Good times. Good, busy times.

PLUS, I just got cast in California Shakespeare Company's production of "Much Ado About Nothing" (one of my all time favorite plays) in the role of Hero. Last time I did this show, I was Dogberry, the bumbling fool. This time, I'm the pure-as-the-driven-snow damsel character. At least I'm not being typecast.

And finally, I'm making a little resolution to myself (which I'm sure I've resolved to do many times before) to stop worrying so much about everything preemptively, to quit picking on myself for stupid little things, to quit blaming myself for everything, to stop always assuming the worst, to stop stressing about what others think about me (or rather, what I think that others MIGHT be thinking about me). Because 95% of the stuff I find myself obsessing over is stuff that I a) can't do anything about or b) have made up and is all in my head.

Mashed potatoes for dinner tonight. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!

Booooo. Hiiisssssssssssss.

I officially broke my own self-imposed rule banning homemade martinis in my place of cohabitation. This rule was set into place on November 6...5...7...*&%*)*^%#$#&^... somewhere around there. I decided that they were fine to have in an environment where it was clear I would only have only 1 or 2 (i.e. ANY BAR IN L.A.), but if I was making them at home, the margin of repetitive consumption was far too great. However today, after the opening of "As You Like It"... I feel pretty entitled to a damn martini enjoyed on my couch and finished alongside my computer (an Apple, while my boyfriend ironically enough is asleep in preparation for a day working at the Apple Store).

Get a lawyer and sue me.

Oh my goodness, the slackitude!

How have I NOT posted about the ice cream that I made and have nearly polished off yet? I think the prospect of going through the entire experience again seems daunting to me. But I have pictures. And the ice cream is good. However, I feel like the next frozen treat I'm going to attempt shall be of the sorbet nature, because I honestly don't NEED a quart of full-fat frozen custard waiting for me in my fridge on these days where the temps are consistently 100+. Oh, you wacky San Fernando Valley, you!

Hmm.

I want to make a necklace out of washers and ribbon like this...
... in the style of Anni Albers. I decided I wanted to when they started selling "kits" to make her kind of "junk jewelery" at Urban Outfitters, and I thought to myself, "THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE! I mean, go get some friggin' washers and a piece of ribbon! This thing is MEANT to be easy, but still be a project! Get your lazy, skinny hipster asses off your re-upholstered vintage loveseat and put in the legwork."

So I went to my local Ace Hardware. They didn't have enough of the washers I liked. I figure I'll swing into Lowe's the next time I'm in the area.

(Lazy.)

OH! I DID make a dress, though! Yeah. From scratch and everything. Well, from fabric and string and without a pattern. I didn't weave and loom the cotton or anything. Pics to come...

(Lazy.)

And my recent decision to start going to the Santa Monica Farmers Market on Saturday mornings, in an effort to get me doing stuff on weekends, eating more veggies and fruit, and supporting local farmers has resulted in a grand upswing in my cheese consumption. Sorry, cheesemongers of Santa Monica. Gotta cut myself off.

There's a new (to me) dresser sitting in my living room. (Thanks Adam!) The plan is to paint it, fill it with clothes that currently reside in an old unsightly plastic set of drawers, and use said plastic set of drawers to organize and store some of my craft stuff. The farthest I have gotten into this project is doing my laundry. Crucial, and yet that dresser is still in my living room.

(Lazy.)

New show opens July 31st.



Anyone who'd like to sing me sing the hits of Wham!, The Smiths, Eurhythmics, Duran Duran, and Prince while dressed like Boy George would be well advised to attend.

"But Dana! What does any of that crap have to do with Shakespeare?"

Why are you asking so many questions? It's gonna be fun, okay? And they sell booze at the theatre, so that's ALWAYS a plus.

July 31 through August 23, 2009
Fridays @ 8 p.m., Saturdays @ 8 p.m., Sundays @ 6 p.m.

Click here for more info! And if you order tickets, tell them I sent you. It won't help you any, but apparently there's a cash prize for the cast member who brings in the most paying audience members. This is CLEARLY not going to be me, but it never hurts to throw it out there.

Alright, I've got a date with a man, a margarita, and pollo en mole. Adios.

Pardon my absence.

It's currently too insanely hot in my workshop to want to spend any large amount of my free time in there. Greg, I don't know how you did it all those years. That room be HOT.

Also, I'm in rehearsal for a show, so that squeezes out any evening blogging.

Excuses, excuses.

Back to work.

Gabrielle Anwar

I like her a lot. I think she's great. "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" is just the kind of movie I was into as a kid, so I was obsessed with it. Now she rocks big time on "Burn Notice", and makes rompers, wedges, and fanny-packs look cooler than they would ever look on anyone else.

My only concern?
She's looking a bit damn skinny.

Gabrielle, in the interest of keeping your fabulous cheekbones from cutting right through your skin, I recommend the book "The Perfect Scoop". Start with the Ice Cream chapter. Work your way through. Repeat.

Reverie Interruptus

So I AM in the midst of making my own ice cream today, being at the crucial "letting the base chill completely" phase right now. I'm not posting my account of the actual process yet, because it ain't done. But I will tell you this...

After I had finished the custard and was letting it chill in an ice bath before transferring it to the fridge, I was cleaning up after myself in kind of a daze. I tasted the base of my ice cream, and it was so resplendently tasty that it sent me into a "what if ice cream changes my life" kind of cloud. I began envisioning starting from the ground up, making crazy-fantastic ice creams and selling it small-scale locally. I began envisioning opening a cafe that specialized in custard-based ice creams, also selling coffee, eventually expanding to be a full-fledged cafe. And in the midst of this...



I broke a glass in the sink. Luckily, it broke into big pieces and wasn't one that I particularly cared about (hooray for POM Wonderful and their juices/teas that come in reusable glasses!). Funny thing is that Matt recently broke one of 'em too. Luckily, there are 2 brand new glasses Matt got from McDonald's waiting and ready to go.



What are the odds?
Call it the Conservation of Glassware Law.

Meanwhile, in anticipation of the hamburgers/french fries/ice cream I'll be consuming tonight, I'm being all healthy and chowing on a quinoa dish I made a couple days ago with garbanzo beans, basil, sun-dried tomatoes, and some olive oil. Yum.

CRLLL - Impending knowledge, impending doom, impending increased LDL cholesterol level...

I just ordered an ice cream mixer attachment for my KitchenAid mixer.

Along with this book.

I'm in soooooo much trouble.

However, I feel like I'm more likely to feel like making ice cream than pies. Especially now that it's July, when the regular temperature in the Valley hovers pretty steadily between 90 - 105 mid-day, and the temperature in my apartment can range from "comfortable" to "surface of Mars on a particularly hot, red day".

But please. This book has recipes for things like Vietnamese Coffee Ice Cream, Saffron Ice Cream, Tiramisu Ice Cream and Roquefort-Honey Ice Cream.

THAT'S ICE CREAM WITH BLUE CHEESE, FOOL.

When my heart just stops beating, know that I died happy.

Unexpected, but unavoidable.

This Saturday resulted in a few unexpected acquisitions for me.

First off, I swung by Nic a.k.a. Normandie Wilson's yard sale, because she has impeccable taste and I was looking to pick up some of her stuff on the cheap and do my part to chip in towards her upcoming tour. (Whooo! Music For Smart People!) I got a bunch of eyeshadows and a bottle of nailpolish (awesome, because Nic buys the good stuff), a picnic basket (which I plan to pack with goodies and take with me to see my pal JR's production of The Tempest with ISC this Friday), a mic stand with a nice pop screen for Matt, and a few other things. Fun times. Then I hit up the Santa Monica Farmers Market, which I'm trying to do more often (just going to farmers markets in general) so that I get less intimidated by them and it becomes part of my weekend routine. Then I went to Trader Joe's for a few things I couldn't get at the market... and that's when I saw it.

I was driving past, I saw it, and I went back around the block after thinking about it because I knew that I would regret letting it go if I didn't at least check it out.



As you can deduce by this picture, a) it was a couch, b) it was adorable, and c) I bought it.

I regret nothing!

Recently learned... and NOT learned...

I tried to teach myself to knit. After about 4 hours, I had this...



... which was looking worse and getting wider with every line. I decided to hold off and wait to actually find someone who can teach me to knit properly.



I also glued some pom-pom trim onto an old bookshelf, which I think looks pretty snazzy.



After Matt's birthday party, he got a cold, so I made him my fail-safe cold busting soup. Guess what the secret ingredient is...




And then last weekend, I made a pie.

I called it Fail Pie. It was actually strawberry rhubarb with a lattice top, but as you can see...



... it was also Fail Pie. Here is a picture of Fail Pie sitting on the windowsill to cool.



However, as you can see, the fact that I put WAY too much filling inside the pie causing it too ooze out like it was trying to escape (due to my refusal to listen to the recommended filling amount) had absolutely no bearing on how it tasted (i.e. delicious).




What did we learn, Dana? If you overload your fruit pie, much of that excess filling will run out, drip onto the bottom of your oven, and burn.

Ahhh, learning.

A photographic recap of Matt's 30th birthday.

What have I been up to?

Not learning Spanish, that's for damn sure.

*sigh*

I was busy!

First, there was Matt's birthday.

We started out celebrating at the stroke of midnight. So, after Matt's folks dropped us off at home we ran out and got supplies.



Yeah. Champagne and toilet paper. Champagne for celebrating and toilet paper because, well, we were out.

The next day, Matt was definitely looking older.



*shudder* Anyhow, the impending party entailed a lot of prep work. The theme of the evening was "Matt's Too Old For This Shit", in a nod to the line made famous by Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon. So, we got a keg...



... which was rather adorable. And then I made a crap-ton of cupcakes and Jell-O shots.



The cupcakes had a rather obscene amount of food coloring in them. Far too much for anyone over the age of 12 to need. Yes, the batter was JUST that orange.



And you might be able to see them on the bottom shelf in the picture of my fridge, but they were topped with blue-dyed "frosting". They were pina colada cupcakes (as found in Hungry Girl 200 Under 200!) with some minor edits. I did put rum into the cupcake batter, as a nod to my days putting rum into my roommate's pancakes.

Now, during parties, I'm notorious for taking pictures very sporadically. So it's never a really good representation of the event. Never have me try to capture the essence of some special party for you, because you will be sorely disappointed. Anyhow, here are a few snaps. (Oh snap!)







Taken through the ceiling fan. Fail.






Mark, Jonica, and Dylan are all wondering if it's gonna work this time.




Me and Teresa Kryzwyzwyzw Kryzwkicki.









Teresa trying to give Matt a backrub. It looks worse than it is. I swear she wasn't feeling him up.






Orion, just before leaving, stone-cold sober yet for some reason looking drunker than anyone else present.





Me and Teresa and her girls Krystyna (sp?) and Laura, who were my homies by the end of the night.





Our note-board was full of doodles and birthday wishes by the end of the night...






Aaaaaand then I ate Matt's brains.

CRLLL - It's a step!

For those of you with poor short-term memory, CRLLL = Caring, Responsible Life-Long Learner.

Guess who's learning Spanish?



Damn right, it's me!

Well, that was nice.

A friend and co-worker looked at me the other day and very earnestly asked, "Why aren't you famous yet?"

I told her that my mother asks that all the time.

And she said that, although she does want success for me, she knows that the day will come when I'll come into work and say "I just booked some amazing job! I have to quit!" And when that day comes, she'll be bummed.

All of these things are nice sentiments.

Thanks Jamie.
You made my day.

Wait, what?

A plain old can of soda is now too much for my system to handle.

I was feeling a little sleepy in the middle of the afternoon, so I had a Coke. Now I feel jittery and, I kid you not, nauseous. I can drink the equivalent of a whole bottle of wine without really ever feeling too drunk or headache-y afterwards, but not even a whole can of Coca-Cola, and I think I'm gonna yak?

Is this what "getting old" is like? Because it's weird.

How I became the very thing I always laughed at.

I just discovered that my former high school has a Wikipedia entry.

In the words of actual high-schoolers, OMG.

Sweet Harold Jesus, this is funny.

Alright. Here's the intro...

"Saint Charles East High School is a public four-year high school located in St. Charles, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago, Illinois, in the United States. It is part of Community Unit School District 303 which also includes Saint Charles North High School which no one likes."

Awesome. Now please note that I graduated before the split, a.k.a. "Before the year 2000, one high school served all students within the District 303 boundaries." But my sister graduated from North.

Fun fact: St. Charles, Illinois, may be the most redundant town in America! It was bad enough when we were the Saint Charles Saints (creative, guys), but now the town is split between the Saint Charles East Saints and the Saint Charles North North Stars.

*sigh*

Moving on...

The rest is pretty dull. There's a blurb running down the big Black Mold Scandal of 2001, when they "discovered" this mold all up in the walls of the building that was "believed to be the source of some student and teacher illnesses" (over a span of decades). From what I hear, when they tore down the building, there were places where garbage had been stuffed into the walls in place of insulation. Just what I heard. And I think it's pretty dang convenient that they "discovered" it in 2001, coincidentally the first year that the NEW high school was open, after years of "investigating" the poor air-quality at the school. Sure, you discover that there's crazy shit running ALL through this huge building... but where are you gonna put 25,000 teenagers? Better hurry up with that new campus, home-skillet.

OH! And the other most-fun thing about my school? The fight song.

Here's to St. Charles High School
Bring victory back
Heres to our colors---
the Orange and the Black
RAH, RAH, RAH,
Here's to all the fellows
Who bear our name
Fighting to defeat the foe
And win this game
RAH, RAH, RAH,
RAH, RAH, RAH,
RAH, RAH, RAH,
RAH, RAH, RAH,
RAH, RAH, RAH,
RAH, RAH, RAH,
Saaaaaaint Charles!

As horrible-sounding and uncreative as that was (21 "RAH"s in a 16 line song?!), apparently now they've modified it for the new East campus. While they have jammed the word "East" into the first line (which was awkward enough to sing to begin with), the addition of "East" to the end of the last line does eliminate the irritatingly drawn-out "Saaaaaint". However, that did always add a spark of sarcasm to a totally lame cheer, so I think the change may still be for the worse. They have not, however, taken out the line that specifically lauds the "fellows who bear our name". *grunt*

Hey! A girl I graduated with was an American Idol Top 24 finalist. Who knew? Well, I guess people who lived in my town and watched American Idol. Anyhow, it was the season Jordin Sparks won, and from what I remember, Leslie Hunt was and probably is still way cooler than Jordin Sparks. For what that's worth.

The point of all this?
(Sorry. I got side-tracked by Wikipedia!)

I looked up my damn high school because the school motto had always cracked me up. It was "To Create Caring, Responsible, Life-long Learners". My friends and I always made fun of those signs in the classrooms, in a dorky, super dated orange type, laminated and stuck to the walls.

But I realized something.
I AM a caring, responsible, life-long learner.
Son of a bitch.
It worked.

I mean when you think about it, I was in school from the ages of 3 to 21, so a precedent had kind of been set. A person gets used to learning stuff. For a few years, I just felt odd and stagnant, but now I've realized my place as a caring, responsible, life-long learner, and I'm going to embrace it.

I'm gonna learn stuff.

I've been trying to teach myself a few things in vain over the last year or so, but I usually don't stick with it.

Maybe I will if I can write about it afterwards.

SO...
Anyone who reads this blog?
Prepare to hear a lot about this in the future.

And if you don't, be sure to give me crap about it.

Oh, bite me.

Give me a break, really.

Why is it that every time I browse the "reviews" on items at Urban Outfitter's website, it seems like there is ALMOST ALWAYS one or more comments reading, "I'm 5'8" and 113 lbs. and this just did NOT fit right at all. The top was SOOO baggy and it just looked weird." And I just want there to be a place for me to reply and be like, "Either a) you're lying about your weight and it STILL doesn't fit you right, in which case you don't NEED to give your dimensions in this review and too bad about the fact that the piece you purchased didn't fit, or b) EAT MEALS REGULARLY FOR A WEEK and maybe your clothes will fit like clothes instead of dropcloths."

Unless this person is like my pal Jana and just can't put on the pounds, no matter how much dark chocolate and peanut butter she eats. In which case, I feel for you... but forgive me if I don't want to be seen in the same mirror next to you.

Or if they are actually Jana.

(Hi, Jana!)

Or maybe the bigger problem is mine. And the fact that I troll UO's website. I tell you, if I actually purchased something once for every 100 times I trolled the site, it would STILL be a marked increase from my current spending patterns.

Hey Safari! SCREW YOU!

Man, how much does the Safari browser suck?

I abandoned it about 8 months ago at work, but it had been doing alright by me on my home computer until today. After having to restart the program 5 times in one sitting and talking myself down from wanting to flip my computer off my desk (I reminded myself that the computer was heavy and my arms were sore), I got Safari to stay functional for just long enough to download Firefox.

I mean, sure, a Safari sounds pretty awesome and wild... but it's nothing compared to a Firefox. A fox on its own is fairly bad-ass, but throw in some fire? WHOA NELLY! Plus, as adventurous and far-off-land-y Safari sounds, we all know that Firefox is a roundhouse-kicking, laser gun-wielding, tough-as-nails intergalactic fighter. Africa is exotic, but not as exotic as frickin' SPACE. It's the final frontier, beeeatch!

*sigh*

So yeah. Firefox and I have been very happy together for the last 20 minutes. He imported ALL of my 8 bazillion bookmarks from Safari in the blink of an eye (the prospect of doing so myself being the only thing that has kept me from making the switch eons ago), and all is well.

However, if it locks up when I go to post this blog, the computer may be upside-down in the hallway when Matt gets home.

And BTW, the way to my heart is...

... apparently, a small penguin made of rice and seaweed, stuffed with salmon, mayo, and wasabi.

Dear god.

Go ahead, browse this bento website, Cooking Cute, for a while. It will surely (if you're anything like me) send you into A) an uncontrollable fit of needing impeccably-presented, multi-course meals in an itty-bitty box that looks something like the hybrid of a tackle box and Sailor Moon's pencil case, and B) a bit of confused horror as you try to imagine having so much time on your hands (steady and nimble hands, mind you) to create things like this...



Now, just so there's no confusion here, you're looking at hand-crafted sushi rolls, made with salmon rice and rolled up to look like pig faces, teeny-tiny hot dog flowers with carrot centers, fans made out of kamaboko (a processed fish product; yes, I had to look that up on Wikipedia), crazy decorative edibles made from colored sticky rice, nigiri with little Spam pig heads, and finally an egg DYED PINK AND SHAPED INTO A PIG FACE. No, that's not plastic.


I KNOW, right?










I don't think I'm QUITE cut out for the hard-core bento lifestyle, but some of the ideas are very good.


And the lunch-boxes are just adorable.

Did somebody say "WANT!"?
Oh wait, that was me.

Tears for fears... Wow, rather literally.

You know what makes me sad?




This.
The Vespa GTV 250.


This beautiful piece of machinery.
So stylish.
So classy.

The gas mileage?
65-70 miles per gallon.
Unheard of for a car.

Where can I park it?
Anywhere I damn well please!
It fits EVERYWHERE.

Did I mention how cool-looking it was?

But alas!
I am so terrified of the way other people drive that I could never conceivably talk myself into getting one of these as a replacement for my car because, yes, I am a wuss. And I'm very concerned with the prospect of causing irreparable damage to my person.

Is it any wonder that I have no damn cred?

Challah if ya hear me!

Heehee.

I made challah rolls just now. No big twisty caper, just simple buns as instructed by my "Les Dames D'Escoffier" cookbook. This is a goooooood recipe.

I'm holding myself back until dinner to start plowing into them, but as you can see, I HAD to test at least one to make sure they were fit for consumption. (And they are.) Those puppies are going in the oven again right before dinner. SO GOOD.








The following are a collection of photos I found on my camera that have accumulated over the last month...








This is a mutant strawberry Matt took a picture of. It's almost like it has an evil twin trying to grow out the side. I'm sure it was delicious.










These are some shoes I bought with my share of the kitty after the DK break-up. They're cute, but I still miss DK.













This is what the apartment looks like these days (for messier or for cleaner). I DID recently move things around to accommodate my new bike trainer attachment. That's right, I exercise now.












Not quite sure why I took this picture, but one can see that my hair had gotten very long (on one side, at least). I cut it this week and am SOOO happy I did. No more sweaty hair on the back of my neck when I'm biking in my living room!














And this was just a day I found myself looking kind of good, which apparently led me to make a smirky Juliet-from-Lost face into the camera.


(Sidenote: Is my nose getting longer and bonier, or is it just the angle of this photo?)


Alright. Enough of this. That bottle o' wine ain't gonna uncork itself.