Lo, and she said, "No fair!"...

... and there was much complaining.

So, I recall mentioning previously how very excited I was to be getting a grill for myself with which to cook all manner of meat and veggies in the splendor of the outdoors. And I got that grill. Oh, did I get that grill.

I picked it up on Thursday, along with a little table to put it on. However, I decided to spray-paint the table and, after seeing what a toll the blazing sun was taking on the paint job as it dried (bubble bubble bubble), I realized that putting the grill on it would probably fuck up the paint job. It's cool. I like that table regardless.

Back to the grill. I had decided that Saturday would be my grill's inaugural meal. I found a super looking recipe for shrimp marinated in lemon juice, basil, garlic and whatnot. This was fortuitous since I had only Friday picked up a brand new basil plant brimming with enormous leaves which needed plucking and subsequent eating. I got the goods to make my shrimp dinner (along with asparagus to slap on the grill) and then... I headed to the box to put the grill together.

Now this is technically a travel grill but I like it because it's compact and self contained enough to be stashed away in my closet. There were many little screw attachments and handles to be put on, burners to hook up, this and that. It took me a good 2 hours, but I finally got it together. All the pieces were there.

Hot damn.

I went off and prepped my food; cleaning, chopping, marinating, etc. Once all this was done, I grabbed the little grill and a propane tank and hauled them outside to fire that bad boy up.

As I began to screw the propane bottle on, I recognized that something wasn't right. It didn't seem to be getting much tigher. Then it happened. The threaded piece attaching the gas regulator to the burner straight up FELL OFF. Bad weld or bad adhesive or something, but it just was no longer attached.

Now I don't know if it was the heat of that day or phantom fire from my non-functioning grill, but I swear I felt flames, flames, flames . . . on the side of my face!

So. Mad.

Anyhow, I emailed my problem to the manufacturer and hopefully they will send me a new goddamn burner. You know, in like A YEAR. Greg suggested that I just take it back to Lowe's, but then they'd give me a whole new grill and then I'd have to put the whole fucking thing together again. And that shit ain't happening.

So, grilling's out for now.