I'm out with a group of folks from my show at a local watering hole we frequent, due to the sweet and hospitable nature of the establishment's owners, the low price of drinks, and the patio that's outdoor enough to legally allow smoking while being indoor enough to shield one from the harsh Southern California elements. And during the course of the night, we have fun, as people who hang around one another are prone to do. And as all things must, the night comes to a close and we all drift home.
But the second I hit my car, I start running through the night's events in my head. The things that were said; was everything I took in jest SAID in jest? Were there subtle nuances I didn't pick up on? Did I make an ass of myself? Do these people secretly hate me and I'm just too dumb to notice?
And so on and so forth.
But here's the thing.
Trying to figure out what someone else was/is thinking about you is damn near impossible. Re-running the words of another person over and over in your head, trying to glean if there was hidden meaning behind them or if there were irritated glances exchanged behind your back... it's pointless.
Much like worrying about whether or not an earthquake is going to hit tomorrow or not.
(Not that this admission will stop me from worrying about either one, but the realization at least shows SOME self-awareness, right?)
The first time I encountered an earthquake after moving to LA, I didn't sleep for several days; instead, I lay in bed in my first-story apartment, wondering what would happen if The Big One hit during the night. Would I be crushed? Would my neighbor's bed fall on top of me or did he place his elsewhere in the bedroom? What would be the safest place to go? Should I just sleep in the bathtub???
And so on and so forth.
Right before the show today, my friend mentioned to me that several "experts" were predicting a major earthquake to hit California tomorrow, March 19th. (OK, I guess it's TODAY, March 19th now.) This. Distressed. Me. But I shook it off. But now it's back.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm going to find my earthquake kit that a former employer gave me as a Christmas gift a few years ago and put it by my bed, along with a full bottle of water and my laptop, well-packed and protected. But I'm gonna try real hard not to lose any sleep worrying about earthquakes or people secretly hating me. Because if either thing happens, there's not much I can do about it. All I can do is have my shit ready to go if it does.
(If an earthquake hits later today, and this prophetic blog doesn't go viral, I'm going to be really pissed.)